These are some key messages when communicating with someone at the end of their life:
People may not understand the words or the impact of the terms used so keep it simple.
Speak in a kind and caring way to the individual and everyone involved in their life.
Show empathy and concern.
There is no need to fill a gap in conversation.
Give the person time to speak.
People who are unconscious may be able to hear so always talk to them as if they are conscious; with dignity and respect.
If the individual wants to talk, then support them to do this even if it is difficult.
Make eye contact, listen and be present for them using calm body language.
The individual may not be thinking clearly and could be distressed or disorientated.
They could be emotionally or physically exhausted and need some peaceful time alone. Be clear on your communication at this point.
People react differently to knowing they are at the end of their life. Some will be upset, others content. Some will want to spend their time laughing, joking and telling funny stories.
It’s likely that most people will go through a wide range of emotions and feelings on different days or even within the same few minutes.
Be alert to how the individual is feeling and follow their lead.
You could ask:
“Is that something you would like to talk about?”
It lets them know you are open to having a difficult conversation.
Be real and honest to provide comfort, safety and trust.
It is OK to say you are unsure.
Learn from them how they manage situations and how individuals react to these.
We highly recommend this incredibly powerful video (12:34 minutes) giving top tips on how to talk about death and dying. It provides useful information from professionals in health and care who deal with death and dying in their job.
The LISTEN poem at the end is significant and very insightful.
Talking about death and dying: how to talk – top tips
Hear from professionals in health and care who deal with death and dying in their job. Learn from their experience. Pick up tips for improving skills. This film is part of the series: Thinking Ahead, Talking Openly which tackles the importance of talking about death and dying. The simple message is – TALK!
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Class Sessions
1- 1. What is end of life care?
2- 2. Legislation relating to end of life care
3- 3. Common Core Principles
4- 4. Seven stages of grief in terminal illness
5- 5. Supporting people with their thoughts and feelings
6- 6. The importance of beliefs, religion and culture
7- 7. Promoting choice and control
8- 8. Roles of key people
9- 9. Advanced Care Planning and Advance Decisions
10- 10. Communication
11- 11. Conflict
12- 12. Maintaining comfort and well-being
13- 13. Signs of death
14- 14. What happens after a person dies?
15- 15. Managing your own feelings and getting help